I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
