True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
