i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
