We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
babies were throwing up all over the place
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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