do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
