tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
