I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
