I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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