Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
