Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
