I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
