I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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