I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
