drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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