I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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