the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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