remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
