The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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