one two three fourrrrnication!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
