when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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