96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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