I need to stop coming to work sober
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
