this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
