Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
