It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
