The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
