The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
