Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
