conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
