I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
