Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i barfeds in our rink
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
