I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
