i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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