I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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