my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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