I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
