Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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