So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
bring money and cleavage
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
