roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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