So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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