Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
