I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
