Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
