dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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