Got a toothbrush?
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
