No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
