Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
false alarm. still invincible.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
