when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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