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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Your cock deserves a montage
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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