So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
