You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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