This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I stole a fireplace last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
